Brothers On Maps
1 week ago
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Friendship anyone?
Wow, I am really feeling sorry for myself today. Since this is my blog I am going to vent! Does anyone else get lonely being a stay-at-home mom? It is tough sometimes. I have days where it REALLY bothers me and today is one. I have been to countless, and I mean many events to meet moms since we have moved here. Time after time I have come home disappointed. I have planned play-dates, lunches, gone to meetings, church groups and have walked away empty. Seriously, does no one else want or need friends? It seems like people aren't interested in cultivating friendships like they used to. Sometimes I wish I lived in the 50's when my state in life was the norm, not the exception. Granted, it is much harder to make time to get to know someone when you have a family to take care of. I am just tired of trying. I feel like I have a great big L on my forehead that everyone but me can see! I used to have a lot of friends before I was a mommy, what changed? Don't get me wrong, I feel like this is a worthy sacrifice to make to stay home with my kids. I don't regret my decision at all. I also do have a couple of friends here, two to be exact! So, how can I remedy this? I guess the only solution is to keep dragging myself to events, and hope for the best, but sometimes it just isn't fun.
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9 comments:
Hey, I still love hanging out with you, even though I'm not a mom!! :( My mom used to refer to the years as a stay-at-home mom with young children as the "concentration camp." She had moved to a new city away from her family while pregnant with baby #3. It took her a long time to meet people too. I obviously don't know how it feels, but please know that I will pray for some mom friends to come your way soon. Just as long as we have the occasional girls' nights.
When I mentioned my two friends, you were one! Thanks Kristy! If it wasn't for you I would seriously be in the "concentration camp"! I didn't mean they had to be moms I guess I meant girlfriends!
Molly, I also am a stay-at-home mom to three kids. I have family and friends all around me and still feel lonely some days. I don't have any friends that stay home full-time so when they are home they are playing catch-up. I rarely go anywhere by myself...I miss those days. I agree, it is a worthy sacrifice and wouldn't trade it for the world. :) Jolene Kramer
Molly,
I have to say I enjoy your blog.
Most of my Mom friends work also and the few that stay home in my neighborhood are so different, parenting, lifestyle, just all around different.
It is hard to find friends that share the same values and parenting as I do.. Plus it seems moms are very clicky! So I tell myself in a few short years I will be punching that clock again wishing all day I could be at home-LONELY!
It's not so different for us working moms, either...
Most of my friends are single, so they can't relate to having a husband to "take care of" and they don't have kids either, so they really can't relate to taking care of a child.
Hmmmm, so pretty much when you are a mom you have no time for friends? I guess I should just get used to it huh? ;-)
kkreations is right; women ARE cliquey. I think what's missing for most of us is finding someone to relate to...
Molly, your blog, like so many others, is a way for us to find that.
Sometimes I wish I lived in the 50's when my state in life was the norm, not the exception.
YES!! I have often said the exact same thing. It does feel lonely. I find myself being online a ton more now that I have kids. I have the online Catholic moms community I'm a part of, and that seems to help.
I have some irl friends, but you're right, it's hard.
I hope you're feeling less lonely today!
Molly, I totally agree. I love your blog. I keep asking God for friends. Out here are a lot of military, and so everytime I make a friend they move. It's hard because I don't have any of my own family. I think sometimes I am friends with someone more because of my kids. It's like we have kids, faith, and parenting in common but hobbies or personalities are not similar at all. I'm not sure I'd have the same friends if we both didn't have kids. I'm on a constant search for a true buddy...hard to find. But, it makes me depend on God more.
Monica
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